Happy Friggin Birthday

I realize that this is going to sound really whiney, mopey and just plain pathetic. 

I actually hate what I am about to tell you because if I heard anyone else be this way I would think they were acting like a self centered baby.  But… it is how I feel.

My birthday is December 23^rd…yep, two days before Christmas.  I have always hated my birthday.  As a kid, nobody would come to my party, they were too busy with other holiday stuff.  I never got to bring cupcakes to school or have pool parties.  I understand saying this now, as an adult, it sounds really lame…but when I was a kid I felt like I was getting the shaft.  Sharing a birthday with Jesus is just not easy.

When I grew up (if I ever really did) I decided that birthdays are for kids and I wasn’t going to make a big deal about it or expect anything from anyone.  Fine, right? 

No.

I make an effort to make birthdays a BIG deal for my significant other, friends, my kids, coworkers etc.  It is the one day a year that is YOUR day.  It should be special dammit!

Even though I tell myself not to care…I still do. I can’t help it.

Last year, I was in a relationship with someone and he made it a point to make my birthday super fun and special.  It was a really nice and rare treat. 

This year…I am not in a relationship.  I just started dating a guy a couple weeks ago but we won’t even see each other on my birthday, we both have our kids.  My parents offered to let my kids spend the night so that I could go out…but where am I going to go?  To dinner alone?  No thanks! 

Today at work, they had a potluck for me and a couple other coworkers that have birthdays too.  Usually, our work potlucks are insane.  SO much yummy stuff…it is a sure fire gastric bomb…but totally worth it.  Today,  yeah… not so much!  Such a dud. Half of our dept is already out on vacation and only 3 people brought stuff…stuff I don’t really like.   I ended up walking over to the cafeteria and getting myself a breakfast burrito. 

I’m sorry to be whiney about this.. it really is stupid…but it just sucks.  I didn’t even have any expectations about the silly potluck...but it was just soooo lame.  I hate feeling let down.

So yeah…all you non birthday enthusiasts…kiss my ass!!  I am going to throw a fun ol’ party at my house for me and my kiddos tomorrow.  I will make my own cake, blow up my own balloons and sing to myself.

Shit…if you can’t count on anyone else…you should at least be able to count on yourself right?

Happy almost 37^th Birthday to me.  BLAH!

Howdy Buckaroo

Three year old boys are adorable a lot of fun.  

My little guy LOVES all the typical boy stuff:  Fire trucks, Firemen, Garbage trucks, police cars, Cowboys and any kind of tractor or machinery. 

He also loves anything from the Disney Toy Story movies. 

He has decided that he wants to be a cowboy for Halloween this year.  That works for me because he was a cowboy 2 years ago and the vest was too big then and fits perfectly now.  I’m all about saving money. (yes, I’m a cheap ass.. so what!!)

I was keeping an eye out for cowboy boots online and I fell in love with a super cute pair of John Deere boots that I came across.  These boots for little boys were $80+ brand new!!   There is NO WAY that I am going to spend that much money on shoes for my children….let alone boots mainly for a Halloween costume.  I looked for them on Ebay and BINGO.. I found a cute “pre-worn” pair in the next size up from what he wears now!!   I showed him the picture and told him that I ordered them and they would be coming in the mail soon. 

Waiting a week for something to arrive is an eternity to a 3 year old. 

Yesterday was the day that the box showed up in the mail.  He was so excited and I could not open that box fast enough.  He was flapping (his excited tick) and smiling from ear to ear when he saw them.  Since they are “pre-owned” they were already perfectly worn in.  He yanked off his own shoes and stepped into his new boots and wanted to go outside and ride his bike…at night.  It didn’t matter that he was wearing shorts and a too small T-shirt with boots.  This kid was happy and that made Momma happy.  I think even his big Sister that despises his existence was a little bit happy for him…it was too cute…how could you not be? 

He wore them compete with his new “Woody” hat and belt all night until bedtime.  He asked to sleep with them but I assured him they would be just fine staying downstairs with the rest of our shoes.

He woke up early today and guess what he did first thing….yep.  slipped on his boots with his PJs.   It is so stinkin’ cute and just melts my heart.  That’s a big deal for this heartless Ice queen robot! 

Here are some pictures so you can enjoy the cuteness of the new boots too!  I’m also including more cuteness…my little cowboy from 2 Halloweens ago.

Feast……..



The new awesome boots!



Watching a movie and riding his horse.
(notice what Big SIs is doing in the background?)



rocking the hoodie and the Cowboy getup...Riley style. 
**rolls eyes**



Speechless

I have not blogged in weeks. 

Things have changed and my life has gotten even busier.  I wish I had time to write...or even something exciting to write about...but I'm stuck. 

I could just post pictures...but that is only appealing to me : )

I do have to write about my Internet dating experiences ...but I need to find the time to actually sit down and write it..but it seems almost irrelevant since I quit the dating world.  whatevz. 

Sorry, If anyone is actually reading this..I'll be back with something worth reading at some point.... maybe.

Sneaky, hilarious bananas

Brilliant and abso-friggin-lutely hilarious!!  This made me laugh so hard I just had to share it!!! 

Feast on this:   Listen to the bananas by the Bloggess. 

and then, The genius over at Metal Poo tried it and the result with his girlfriend is hysterical  Chiquita Knows ALL


I cannot wait to do this to Lilly.  It will blow her mind!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

now...what to put on my bananas.......?

My glimpse of a “normal” life

This weekend was just like any ol’ weekend. We didn’t have any plans or anything special to do. What made my weekend so fabulous (in my mind) was that Lilly acted like a “typical” 7 year old girl. That may not seem like a big deal to some people…but when your child doesn’t usually act like a “typical” child…it’s pretty dang awesome when they do.

Last week I got a new bike for myself. It’s nuthin fancy, just an inexpensive beach cruiser from Wal-Mart. I put it together and wanted to ride bikes with the kids. Unfortunately, the bike that I got for Riley months ago off of Craigslist needed to be fixed first. The back tire has a flat and needs to be repaired/replaced. His bike has a bunch of plastic molding all over it to make it look like a motorcycle/dirt bike…so getting the tire off was no easy task.
We made a trip to the store and bought a patch kit. After several failed attempts to patch the leak, we went back to the store and bought a new tube instead. Changing a bike tube/tire is the biggest PITA ever..but I got it done. I put the tire, molding and training wheels back on the bike, but then realized the chain was not in the right place and I had to take everything off again and figure out how to re-attach the greasy, nasty chain. After that was done, and the wheel and training wheels were put back on, we took it outside and tried it out.
I realized that the training wheels seemed too big for the bike. I tried to adjust them, but it just wouldn’t work. Riley was sad and I was beyond frustrated . This whole process took a couple of hours.

Lilly came up to me and said, “I’m so sorry Mom!” and she gave me a hug.
I asked her what she was sorry for and she said, “You have worked so hard on trying to get Riley’s bike fixed today so we could ride together and it still doesn’t work. I feel bad for you.”

*jaw drops*

My daughter just displayed the biggest amount of empathy I had ever seen. She not only cared but was sad for me and for Riley. She HATES her brother…so this is a HUGE deal.

There were lots of other moments that day where I asked her to put something away, or help with me something and she HAPPILY cooperated. Normally, she would ignore me, whine and complain or have a meltdown.

She was also (for the most part) nice to her brother most of the weekend. She helped him put his sweater vest on for church and even brushed his hair. They played together most of the weekend. Every act of kindness from her just BLEW ME AWAY.

Of course I praised her on how sweet she was being and how proud I was of her. I gave her tons more hugs than usual and she accepted them all without being a grouch about it.

Sunday, I wanted to show Riley this cool old train that you can walk around on and look at up close. Riley loves trains…Lilly does not.
Lilly was so thrilled and excited to climb up on the train and even posed for pictures!
(Lilly usually DESPISES and does not tolerate pictures)

Riley was TERRIFIED of the train. Poor kid is also afraid of loud noises and things unknown. He thought the train was going to start moving or make loud sounds so he screamed his little head off and wanted to get back in the car. Poor thing!
Normally, Lilly would call him names or say rude things about him being a “big baby”…but she didn’t. She tried to reassure him that the train was really cool and it wasn’t scary. *WHO IS THIS KID??*

After that, we hung out at home, went to the park, watched movies and got ready for bed. The majority of this time, Lilly was sweet, cooperative and a joy to be around.

I am not expecting things to be this way all the time. It could have been a total fluke, or maybe the meds she started over a month ago are actually starting to kick in. Who knows. All I know is that my Lilly CAN be a sweet, empathetic and happy little girl and that gives me hope.

The PITA bike

Riley is telling Lilly to stay away from the scary train

My pretty girl

see...she is smiling!!

Me and Riley.  Notice how he wont take his eyes off the scary train?

Mr. Muscles at the park



Lilly pointed out this cloud to me.  She called it the "Swan Cloud"



Excuse me while I throw a hissy fit

Is it not possible for my kids to be civil to each other for FIVE flipping minutes?

They argue, whine and torment almost all the time. Mainly, it is Lilly being horrible to her brother... but he knows how to push her buttons too.

Today, my stomach was not feeling right for most of the day. Let's just say I made quite a few restroom trips today.
Anyway, tonight I felt kinda bad again, like either my ovary exploded or my appendix is unhappy. I was in the bathroom less than two minutes and I hear Lilly yelling at Riley. I open the door and yell back that if she yells or bothers him ONE. MORE. TIME.... the movie goes off and she goes right to bed.

30 seconds later, Riley is screaming and crying at the top of his lungs and running towards the bathroom. Lilly is yelling that she didn't touch him. (Really? Yeah right)
He now has a cut below his eye and is a hysterical mess. Reminder, I am still otherwise occupied in the loo.
I yell out to Lilly (over Riley's crying) to turn off the movie and go to her bed. She starts screaming and crying too and is making a million excuses.

I try to get Riley out of the bathroom so I can complete my duties and get out of there. But he won't leave the room. I finally get him outside the door and I close and lock the door. This sends him into a total nuclear meltdown. He is crying so hard that he's practically hyper-ventillating and kicking the door.

This whole fiasco has ended my Mommy duty for the day. I am done.

Did teeth get brushed? NOPE.

Did we read bedtime stories? NOPE.

Did we say prayers? NOPE.

Do I care? Well, just a smidge.

There are times, such as these, that I would actually like to still live with my exhusband (gag)... just so I can poop in peace on ocassion.

FML

My Aspie hates rules!

Well, so much for my idea of making our own Family Rules sign (see last Friday's post).

Tonight, the munchkins and I went to Wal-Mart to pick up the bike I ordered for myself online. It is a cool beach cruiser and it was extremely inexpensive.... so I had to have it. Thiey offered free Site to Store shipping so we just had to pick it up an they put the Giant box in my car. Easy peesy.

Anyway, while we were waiting for the lady to get the box from the back, I saw a Family Rules sign sitting right there on the counter. I excitedly told Lilly that I wanted to get one of those for our house. She started reading it...then stopped. She looked at me with her familiar grouchy stink-face and started reading it again... in her own lovely way.

*sigh*

Yep, that's my sweet little girl. *insert eye roll*

But wait, aren't Aspies supposed to love rules?  I guess only the ones that are logical.

Maybe I'll make my sign anyway.. even if she thinks it's stupid.

Neener Neener.

Cool things I found on other blogs today...

As I was browsing through my reading list of the blogs I follow, I came across so many really cool things that I want to either do, buy or make.  They are so cool that I wanted to share a couple of them with y’all. 

I saw this Towel Rack project on the Mod Podge Rocks blog and followed the link to the original post over at A Little Knick Knack. 

Not only is it a super easy project, but it’s Mod Podge which is my latest obsession AND…the towel rack in the kids’ bathroom keeps falling off the wall and I am so tired of putting it back up over and over.  I am going to tear those crappy, boring towel racks down, make my own with some super cool scrapbook paper and hang those suckers up and be done with it.  YAY.  Can’t wait to make them!

Next, I saw this  FAN-FRIGGIN-TASTIC inspirational sign/manifesto over on Mely’s Blog Sex, Lies and Bacon.   This sign is SO perfect for me right now.  I want to hang one in the entryway of my house!!!  And, I am kind of on a kick lately of these sign things…Did ya see my Family Rules post a couple days ago?? 
This sign can be found and purchased at http://www.holstee.com/.

Really cool stuff huh??   You’re Welcome!

Busy and fun weekend

My kiddies were with their Dad this weekend so I had a whole weekend to myself.  Woot!! 

Friday , after packing up the kids and their stuff and dropping them off at their Dad’s, I met up with a friend.  We grabbed some dinner and went to a movie.  We saw “The Chang Up”.  That movie is a hoot!  So many hysterical lines in there that still make me giggle.  It was raunchy and crass at times…but seriously hilarious. It even had a sappy, feel good type ending.   I have seen 3 movies this past week and I *think* this one was my favorite…just because it was so dang funny.

Saturday, I went over to my parent’s house to change out my headlight and a brake light that went out this week and to top off the fluids/oil in my car.. And, to borrow a knee brace from them.  I am only 36, but I messed up my knee doing goofy karate kicks at my co-worker. LOL!!  My Dad and I did the car work, then I was mending a torn pillow that wa ripped.  My Dad laughed at me and said, “It doesn’t surprise me to see you work on a car…but to see you sewing, now THAT is weird!”  hahaha.  He jokingly said I am the son he never had. 

My Mom is having her 70^th birthday in October and my Dad told her they would go on a trip to wherever she wanted.  She finally decided on a 7 day cruise to Mexico.  They invited me and my Mom’s BFF to join them.  YEEEEHAW!!  I am so excited.  We did a 4 day cruise with the 4 of us last December and it was a blast!!  With my crazy life at home, I NEED a vacation more than you will ever know.  So, my Dad and I picked our cabins for the trip and booked the trip online.  Have I mentioned that I am excited???  SEVEN DAYS!!!!  I can’t wait!  I have the best parents EVER.



the beautiful sunset on our last cruise to Mexico




My parents...aren't they cute??  Married 43 years! ♥



I headed home after that to tackle my household chores.  My awesome Mom came along and helped me tidy up the kitchen, bathrooms and fold and put away laundry. My mom rocks…not sure if I have ever said that before ; )

Later on I met up at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner with friends.  YUM!  Then, went to Wal-Mart for a few needed items and rented a movie from RedBox.  We watched, “The Town”.  It was better than I expected.  Didn’t go to bed till 3 am. *yawn*

Sunday was church. Another good message and service by Pastor Mark and the music team.  I was only a few mins late this week.  Go me!!

I was missing my kids so I asked the Ex if I could come visit them and bring them lunch.  I picked up Happy meals and food for me and the Ex and hung out with them for about an hour.  They were swimming and having fun...and actually not fighting!!!

After that I went to the beach with friends.  Such a relaxing and fun time!  I laid on the sand and soaked up the sun, played some Frisbee and went wading into the waves… I was about 50 feet away from dolphins!  So cool!

I rushed home from the beach to jump into the shower and get glammed up for my date with a guy I have seen a few times recently.  We went to dinner at Island’s, rented a movie and came back to my place.  The movie was really cute (She’s out of your league)…but I was exhausted and my throat was really starting to hurt.  I think my date was hoping for some romantic stuff but I was just not feeling it. I just wanted to go to bed.  So, I said my goodbyes, took some cold medicine and collapsed. 

Fun and busy weekend

Our Family Rules

I have seen these great signs lately on Etsy and in a few stores.  They are the “Family Rules” signs.  They are not cheap to buy and they come pre-made. 

I want to make one for MY family with rules that apply to us.  So, I typed up the rules that I thought fit us best and used some cute fonts that I downloaded from Kevin & Amanda‘s Blog.   

Now, I just need to print them on cute, crafty, colorful paper or at least in different bright colors and make our family sign.  I will do this in all my spare time (Bwahahahahaa) I still have a 6 canvas Mod Podge project sitting in my dining room that I am planning on getting to “someday”. 

Well, the point of this post was not to prove how much of a slacker I am but I wanted to share with you Our Family rules.

Soccer Season Has Officially Begun

Today was Lilly's first soccer practice of the season. It was not however, the team's first practice. The league was short volunteers to coach. As of a week ago, we heard that she might not get to play this year if there wasn't a coach for her team. What a bummer!!!

Last week on Facebook, a gal that I knew from high school asked me what team Lilly was on... and I explained none so far. She is the assistant coach of a team in our league and age division. She made some phone calls and got Lilly on their team. Yay!

The only thing I didn't realize was that practice had already begun and they had already picked their team name, etc.

Normally this would not be a big deal, but when you have a kid like Lilly that has a hard time in groups and in new situations... and the team already had met once or twice, that worried me for Lilly. What if she didn't fit in and melted down and got all clingy?

So, today we showed up for practice and her coaches and teammates were very welcoming. Lilly was in a good and confident mood today which was a major bonus. Phfew!

Both coaches are positive and motivating, yet firm and no nonsense. That is EXACTLY what Lil needs in order to do well!

She got right out there and participated and paid attention. She did trip once on her shoelaces and started to pout and walk off the field, but the coaches were so great about ushering her right back out there with the team.

For a first practice, her Dad and I were pleasantly surprised at how great she did. She had a blast!

They already have their uniforms and they are... PINK and black!!! Much better than the neon and forest green one she had last year. Blech!

I'm not trying to get ahead of myself or jinx anything... but I have a good feeling about this soccer season for Lilly.

Lilly is in the blue shorts on the far right.

One kid at a time

As a single Momma, I try my darndest to be able to have one on one time with each kiddo.  This weekend I was able to get some good quality alone time with both of them. 

Friday night, Lilly and I went to see a really awesome local musician play a live show.  We went to Lestat’s in San Diego and saw The Gregory Page Show.  It started a little after 9pm and we hung in there till 11:00.  She was very well behaved (for the most part, I did have to bribe her to stay a bit longer with a chocolate milk) and she loved seeing him sing the songs that she has heard me play in the car.

Here we are before we headed to the show.  She was really into the movie she was watching and as usual, didn’t want to pose for a picture.  She HATES pictures.  Please excuse our vampire eyes…darn red-eye removal got out of control. LOL

Here is the artist we saw, Gregory Page. ♥

On Sunday, we tried to figure out what we all wanted to do.  The kids rarely agree on anything and Sunday was no exception.  Lilly wanted to go to the movies and Riley wanted to go to the beach.  My mom offered for Lilly to come over and hang out with them for a bit and she was happy about that.  That gave me the opportunity to spend a little bit of quality time with Riley!!  We threw our beach toys and towels in the car and headed to the beach.  It is only a 15 or 20 minute drive to our favorite beach spot…Riley took that time to catch a cat nap on the way.  SO cute!!! 

We had fun jumping in the waves and playing in the sand.  We even saw dolphins playing! 

I always wanted to have 2 kids.  What I didn’t plan for was being divorced, having a child on the spectrum, and having one child absolutely despise the other child.  Most days and activities are just not fun because one kid is usually pissed off or crying.  

This weekend was no exception…but I did get a little glimpse of what it is like to just have one happy child at a time…and I absolutely loved every second of it.

                                                                                                                            

Short End Of The Stick

I hate to “steal” stuff from other blogs…but sometimes they say what I want to say…only much better than I ever could.

Once again, I read a blog post by Jen over at Living Life, with a side of Autism. She was talking about her younger son and how hard it is to see him not get as much attention and the things he has to deal with having a “special needs” sibling.  Please take a minute to go read it HERE.  Her post made me cry.  She is really good at making me do that with her touching words and the raw emotions she so beautifully writes about.
I too, feel horrible a lot of times for the “crap” Riley has to put up with and the horrible things Lilly says and does to him.  He is such a sweet boy and does not deserve to be the recipient of the majority of her anger.

Riley tells me that he doesn’t like the way Lilly acts or the way she treats him.  Some days when I pick him up from daycare, he says, “Do we have to pick up Lilly? She is so mean to me,” It breaks my heart.  I just tell him that I love him and I know that Lilly does too…but she has a hard time being nice to him and that doesn’t make it right…but that’s just how it is and I am sorry.

What kind of BS answer is that?  What else can I tell him?  Poor kid has to live in a house with someone that completely loathes him and does everything she can to remind him of that.  She will have rare moments when she will play with him and share her things with him.  As their Mother, it makes me so happy to seem them play and have fun.  Riley is just thrilled to pieces to be accepted by her.  But it doesn’t last long.  She is back to torturing or yelling at him in no time.  How confusing must that be to a 3 year old?

I can explain to Lilly how mean she is to him or ask how would she feel if he treated her that way…but to a person with Asperger’s or that has issues with empathy…what is the point?  She does not care one bit.

I worry that Riley will have self-esteem issues later on in life from being too scared to express himself or do what he really wants.  Will the harsh words she is constantly spewing at him sink in and will he believe them to be true?

I try my best to have one on one time with each kid.  Being a single Mom makes that pretty challenging but my parents are great at taking one of them for a short time so I can spend time with the other kid alone.

Lilly’s Doc recently suggested we try her on a medication that has been helpful in lessening aggression with kids on the Spectrum.   Her Dad and I are willing try give it a shot.   Her anger, yelling, mean hurtful words and frequent meltdowns are very hard for anyone around her to deal with.   I am praying that it helps and doesn’t have any major side effects.

I just want to have fun with my kids and NOT be their constant referee.

Asperger King

Saw this recently on another blog and it made me “LOL”.

With my life, you gotta have a sense of humor to survive.

Our eventful week

Well, it's Sunday night. Kids are in bed, I'm getting ready for bed too but I have a lovely mask on my face right now in hopes to halt the convention of zits sprouting up on my face. Darn hormones!! I have a date on Wednesday and do not want to show up looking like this.

So, gonna do a quick week recap.

Lilly started school this week. She is now in 2nd grade. Her new teacher is named Mrs. Stump and she seems very nice. The first week was an adjustment for Lilly, but we knew that would happen. Her teacher also needs to learn a lot about Lilly and what makes her tick... and Also what makes her "Ticked off". Lol. I'm sure after a couple weeks it will be fine.

Aunt Dee and Uncle Bob are visiting from Florida. I love when they come out. The kids love them too and have a great time just hanging out over at my parent's. Uncle Bob and Lilly were planting hibiscus in my Mom's yard. She loved the digging and watering. Lil sprayed Riley with the hose and I ended up just stripping them down to their undies so the could play in the water. A little white trash... but oh well.

Today was Church, we were late...yep, again. Great sermon about accepting others and how change is good. Pastor Marc said a really great and touching prayer about surrendering your big burdens... made me cry. Lilly was on my mind and all the struggles I go through with her.

Grabbed a quick Lunch at Subway and Headed to Balboa Park. We rode the carousel, train and they got their faces painted. It was fun.

I was soooo tired, I actually fell asleep while reading a bedtime story to the kids. Whoops.

Here's some pix... they're out of order... but you'll figure it out.