My blog is so that I can purge all of the random junk that floats through my head and also share some of the memories and moments of our daily life... good and bad. Life as a single, working Mom to a child with Asperger's (aka: Assburgers. Lol) and a sweet, yet energetic 3 year old boy can be a chaotic trainwreck...but it is also amusing and wonderful too.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Mr. Potato Head was violated

Lilly left her Mr. Potato head outside last night.  

Today when we got home, she went outside to play while I was cooking dinner.   Then came running in all upset to show me this..... damn neighborhood hooligans.   I shake my fist at you!!!!

Now she wants to know what it means an why it's bad.   She said, "fook you"?  

Poor Mr. Potato Head.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Bravery at its Best

Today is Memorial Day. 
It's the kickoff to Summer.   It is also a day to honor the men and women that serve or have served our great country.. especially those that gave their lives to fight for our freedom.  

My Dad is a retired officer for the United States Marines.   My entire childhood was spent moving across the US and even Japan while my Dad did his duty navigating in F-14 jets.   Luckily,  he never had to go to a war during his career but he trained and was prepared to do so if he needed to.

I cannot even imagine how terrifying it must be for families and kids to send their military family members off to war. Think about it for a second... instead of kissing them goodbye for a day at the office... they are saying goodbye knowing they might never see them again! 

I know many people do not support the war on terrorism or our military.   I don't understand those people.  Think of how brave it is to sign up for a job knowing and training for the possibility of war and even death.   They choose this job so that ALL Americans, (meaning people they will never meet) can maintain our freedom.  

Whether you are Conservative, Liberal or in between... please take a few moments today to recognize the sacrifices these young men and women have made for you and your family and teach your children about it too.

God bless America.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Guest Blogging in the Confessional

Eeek!  When Bekki From Chasing SuperMom asked if I would guest blog for her confessional I have to admit, I was kinda nervous, reluctant but excited.  It was the first time I was ever asked to guest blog.  I figured that the 2 whole people that actually read my blog would never ask me such a crazy thing!

I wasn't sure if I wanted to display my shortcomings and proof that I am not perfect for all the Cyber world to see.  I try really dang hard to keep up the image that I never make mistakes and I am doing everything the right way.  (ok, not really)

Well, I accepted her offer and today is the day that my failures and secrets are on display.

There are on her site under the confessional heading...scroll down a bit.  Click right here!!

enjoy..and please..try no to talk too much crap in your comments. 

Thank you Bekki for the oppotunity to get that all off my chest!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Cyber BFFs become IRL friends.

In this day and age, you can talk to people all over the world online via email, Skype, Twitter, Facebook, Chat forums etc. You can chat with friends and family...or meet strangers and make new "cyber friends" that share common interests.

When I was pregnant, I joined birth board forums for expectant mothers. It was a great place to talk, share, ask questions, laugh, etc during your pregnancy with other Moms going through similar things.

I came to meet some super amazing women that all also had babies in March 2008. A smaller group of us formed our own private group and have stuck together ever since. We are from all over the US and Canada...from Southern California to New hampshire.  We range from Stay at Home Moms, Working Moms, "crunchy" Moms, School teachers, CFOs, nurses and more.

These women have helped keep me sane over the past 3 years. I have gone through marital issues that eventually ended in divorce, issues with my daughter and her finally being diagnosed with Asperger's and many other daily life struggles. Our group is always there for eachother.

We had a tragic loss of one of our Moms in a fatal car accident. It broke our hearts but made us realize how precious life is and how important each moment with your children really is. Her passing brought our group even closer together.

My Cyber BFFs make me laugh everyday and I love them to pieces.

Last year, I flew from California to Alabama to stay with one of my online pals. I had never met her in person. We had such a great visit! Spending time together in real life (IRL) was like we were old friends that just hadn't seen eachother in a long time.

This year, a big group of us met up for a girl's weekend in New York City. I flew to New Jersey and stayed with another one of my Cyber BFFs. We ended have having 8 of us all together. It was so easy meeting them in IRL and spending the weekend together. We wandered NYC, hung out at our Host's house and talked & laughed for hours. Everyone was bummed when our weekend was over. I don't know if I will ever get the opportunity to see some of these awesome ladies again!

People have told me that they think it is so weird that I would fly across the country to meet up with someone I have never met...but if you belong to an online group and have cyber BFFs would totally get it.

Here are some pictures from our super fun weekend.

I Central Park!!


Friday, May 27, 2011

What's in a name??

This blog is currently being revamped!

When I decided to start a blog, I jumped the gun a bit and picked a URL address right away, but then I changed my mind and went with my title on my Mommy forum because I thought people might be offended by or not see the humor in the "Assburgers" thing. Well, having a blog with unmatching names is bugging me and frankly, I just don't care anymore if it offends anyone. This is who I am and how I am. I am sarcastic and a smart ass. So deal! LOL

If you are following me...I apologize for any confusion. This Blog will now be titled: Assbugers For Dinner. You might need to change that in your feed or something.

Yes, this makes me look like a loser... I have accepted this sad fact.

I am going to make a new header and button in the next couple days.

Eeeeek, I better hurry, I am guest blogging on Sunday... gonna be burning the midnight oil on this one.

Thanks for your understanding.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A tribute to Sparky

As a baby, Lilly was never attached to any blankets, pacifiers, lovies or anything else. She loved her stuffed animals but would rotate her favorites.
Lions were always her favorite animal. She was ADDICTED to anything Lion King. We have all 3 movies, (yes, there are 3), the books, Christmas ornaments, even the Soundtrack to the movie. I know every song by heart. She liked to pretend she was a lion and would ROAR loudly at people…even at church. *sigh*
A couple years ago, one of Lilly’s friends had a stuffed lion that she fell in love with. Her friend had a zillion other toys and animals so she gave it to Lilly. She told us that his name was Sparky.

Sparky has been Lilly’s sidekick ever since. He goes almost everywhere with us. Lilly treats him like a member of the family. If her brother is annoying her, she’ll say “ Sparky needs quiet right now, He’s trying to rest!” or other things along those lines. Everyone who knows Lilly, knows Sparky by name as well.
Last year, Lilly and I went to Disneyland for my birthday and Sparky was tucked under her arm the entire time we were there.

I just wanted to pay tribute to trusty ol’ Sparky and the love he brings to my Lilly.
Here is a little walk down memory lane via pictures.


pumpkin patch

he is with her happy or … MAD

Sea World


Inside of a shark

Swings at the fair

Weekend trips to the mountains

at her Doctor’s office

to school

New Year’s Party

Birthday party with friends

snuggling on the sofa

even the Happiest place on earth…Disneyland.

and snuggling up on the way home...

Thank you Sparky!! ♥

Friday, May 6, 2011

Depression vs. Drama

My daughter is a drama queen.
Sometimes she can help it…sometimes she cannot.

Lilly was diagnosed with an "unspecified mood disorder" along with her Asperger’s. Her Dad's side of the family has a full array of mental health issues and mood disorders... so unfortunately, she seems to have inherited one of them.

At times, Lil gets so upset by a situation or disappointed in herself about something that she is just a fragile little mess and has sobbing meltdowns over very minor things. The rest of the day or even the next few days can be a roller coaster of emotions.

It is difficult and sad to see my little girl get so heartbroken. Hugs, encouragement, reassurance, and lots of love are all I can give her to try to bring her out of her funk.

There are also times when she claims to be sad and melts down, but it is NOT because of any mood issues. It is because she did not get what she wanted and/or things didn't go according to HER plan.
She is very good at trying to manipulate situations. She will beg, plead and whine till your ears bleed. If that doesn't work (which it almost never does) she will turn into a hateful monster. She yells, throws things, makes threats, and says every thing that comes to mind about how horrible her life is and how I am the worst mom ever, yadda yadda yadda.
I think most girls at this age act this way sometimes…but I could be wrong.

The newest and probably one of my favorite of her lines is something she said this week, "I hate you with all of my hateness."

I know it isn't really funny… but I would have lost my mind a long time ago if I didn't have a sense of humor. Sometimes, I just have to laugh (to myself... NOT to her... I'm no dummy) at the absurd things that come out of her mouth.

People can say crazy things when they are furious….myself included. I know that she doesn't *really* mean the things she says and I don't take them personally….most of the time. There have been times that she broke me down and made me cry…but that’s pretty rare.

I think I need to start keeping track of some of the things she says... some of them are gems.

After her “episode” is over, we have a talk about it and how it isn’t nice to say hurtful things. Having that kind of conversation with someone that has a really hard time caring about other people’s feelings can be quite the challenge.

Has your child said some classic and hilarious things that you will never forget? I would love to hear them. I could use a laugh.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

I demand an upgrade!

The human body is an incredible thing. The way our brain sends information to make us move, how our heart beats, reproduction process, our memory…all of it….it’s just amazing. I think God did a pretty darn good job. But some things require upgrades now and then.

A little over 3 years ago, I delivered a bouncing baby boy via Cesarean section. He was breech and they thought his cord was wrapped around his neck so the C/S was mandatory. My husband (at the time) and I had decided earlier in the pregnancy that 3 kids was enough for us (he has a son from a previous relationship)…so he was going to have a vasectomy after the baby was born. With the news that I had to have the C/S, we decided to go ahead and have a tubal ligation done (aka: get my tubes tied), since they would already have me sliced open anyway. (I swear, men always get off easy.)

So, my son was born, tubes were tied, all is well right? Not so much. You would think that since I am no longer going to have children, that there should be some upgrade, new program or switch that they turn off to tell my body that it does not need to do the whole monthly womanly preparing for reproduction shebang. I don’t need or want Aunt Flow or PMS anymore…not like I ever really did.

Not only is it bad for the environment (think of all the paper products I will be using for the next how many years), but it is bad for my and my children’s sanity not to mention my “girlish figure”.

Every month I get a killer migraine for a couple days before the “event”, I break out, bloat and become a raving bitch (yes, more than usual) and crave ungodly amounts of greasy comfort foods.
I would easily trade one of my children for a slice of chocolate covered pizza with Xanax sprinkles, a side of fries with ranch, cheese & bacon and a brownie sundae.

During this lovely time, I apparently have less of a bullshit tolerance than I normally do. When my kids get whiny or act like monsters, things can get ugly. Last night for example, my kids were non stop whining, spilling stuff, arguing with each other and sassy mouthing at me. Their little behinds were in bed so fast, I didn’t even use toothpaste when I brushed their teeth. Yes, *I* brush their teeth….I pay for the dental bills and I want it done right the first time. We even skipped prayers last night… I was just DONE.. They probably said their own prayers after I left the room that they would have their normal Mommy back soon. Haha

I realize that I can be a *tad* crabby and difficult to be around, but there is not a darn thing I can do about it.

I would like to put an end to this ridiculously unnecessary process. I will deal with the decline of the rest of my body: the creases starting to form near my eyes, gravity’s ugly effect on my once perky parts, etc. But for the love of all things sacred…STOP THIS MADNESS!

I demand an upgrade!

You don’t want to piss off a hormonal woman now do you?

Monday, May 2, 2011

MOM…I have Asperger’s!!

I haven’t blogged in over a week. YIKES. Sorry!! It has been one doozy of a week at work, with cars in the shop, ex-husband drama, sick kids, sick Mommy etc. I just could not find the time (or inspiration) to blog. The one good thing about my slacking is that my last post ties right into this one. If you didn’t read it….go do that now. I can wait. ……

*hums to myself*

Ok. So, I was JUST saying how Lilly didn’t know that she has Asperger’s and we didn’t plan on telling her anytime soon…right??

Well, my super smart girl figured it out all on her own. A long time ago, I bought a book on Amazon called: “What it is to be me! An Asperger Kids book”. I realized after buying it that it was written by a gal that I used to work with. I called her up and we chatted for a bit. She has 2 kids on the spectrum. Small world!

I bought this particular book because it is written in the perspective of a young kid with Asperger’s. It is simple but very informative. The Aspie boy describes some of the things he excels at and some of the things that are challenging for him. I also thought maybe Lilly would identify with the kid in the book. We have a lot of books in our house about different kinds of people with different abilities, personalities, disabilities, etc. So throwing this book into the mix and educating her about Autism/Asperger’s without telling her she has it was my brilliant plan. *wink*
We have read this book before and I could see the wheels kinda turning in her head the last time we read it. Last night, with each page we read…she would say, “Mom, I do that too” or “I don’t like loud noises either”. She also started talking about the movie Temple Grandin. She saw about the first 20 mins or so of it and told me that she also saw how things worked in her head and how she traces the outlines of things she sees and how new things make her feel scared.

She looked at me and excitedly said, “MOM…I have Asperger’s!! I am unique, different and smart too!!”

I had not planned to have this talk with her but all of a sudden…here we were. I told her that yes, she does have Asperger’s and what that meant. I explained about Autism and the spectrum. She understands that she is considered “high functioning” and how some people with autism have more severe issues and have difficulty communicating. She almost seemed excited to know that there were others like her. She asked if having Asperger’s was a bad thing and I told her it was not. She is “different, but not less than”…(to use the quote I keep seeing on Twitter)

I am so immensely proud of my smart, quirky little girl.

And to think, earlier that day we had a HORRIBLE, drama filled morning. When I dropped her off at school she was grumpy and gave me an ugly “stink face” and told me she was going to have a horrible day. Now, we shared this enlightening moment together and she seemed perfectly happy.

Since that talk, I have been able to discuss things more openly with her and she understands some of her behaviors and meltdowns a little bit more.

She even told me last night during dinner that she thinks her little brother has Asperger’s. Funny kid. (I think he might too…but I didn’t tell her that yet.)