My blog is so that I can purge all of the random junk that floats through my head and also share some of the memories and moments of our daily life... good and bad. Life as a single, working Mom to a child with Asperger's (aka: Assburgers. Lol) and a sweet, yet energetic 3 year old boy can be a chaotic trainwreck...but it is also amusing and wonderful too.

Monday, August 22, 2011

My glimpse of a “normal” life

This weekend was just like any ol’ weekend. We didn’t have any plans or anything special to do. What made my weekend so fabulous (in my mind) was that Lilly acted like a “typical” 7 year old girl. That may not seem like a big deal to some people…but when your child doesn’t usually act like a “typical” child…it’s pretty dang awesome when they do.

Last week I got a new bike for myself. It’s nuthin fancy, just an inexpensive beach cruiser from Wal-Mart. I put it together and wanted to ride bikes with the kids. Unfortunately, the bike that I got for Riley months ago off of Craigslist needed to be fixed first. The back tire has a flat and needs to be repaired/replaced. His bike has a bunch of plastic molding all over it to make it look like a motorcycle/dirt bike…so getting the tire off was no easy task.
We made a trip to the store and bought a patch kit. After several failed attempts to patch the leak, we went back to the store and bought a new tube instead. Changing a bike tube/tire is the biggest PITA ever..but I got it done. I put the tire, molding and training wheels back on the bike, but then realized the chain was not in the right place and I had to take everything off again and figure out how to re-attach the greasy, nasty chain. After that was done, and the wheel and training wheels were put back on, we took it outside and tried it out.
I realized that the training wheels seemed too big for the bike. I tried to adjust them, but it just wouldn’t work. Riley was sad and I was beyond frustrated . This whole process took a couple of hours.

Lilly came up to me and said, “I’m so sorry Mom!” and she gave me a hug.
I asked her what she was sorry for and she said, “You have worked so hard on trying to get Riley’s bike fixed today so we could ride together and it still doesn’t work. I feel bad for you.”

*jaw drops*

My daughter just displayed the biggest amount of empathy I had ever seen. She not only cared but was sad for me and for Riley. She HATES her brother…so this is a HUGE deal.

There were lots of other moments that day where I asked her to put something away, or help with me something and she HAPPILY cooperated. Normally, she would ignore me, whine and complain or have a meltdown.

She was also (for the most part) nice to her brother most of the weekend. She helped him put his sweater vest on for church and even brushed his hair. They played together most of the weekend. Every act of kindness from her just BLEW ME AWAY.

Of course I praised her on how sweet she was being and how proud I was of her. I gave her tons more hugs than usual and she accepted them all without being a grouch about it.

Sunday, I wanted to show Riley this cool old train that you can walk around on and look at up close. Riley loves trains…Lilly does not.
Lilly was so thrilled and excited to climb up on the train and even posed for pictures!
(Lilly usually DESPISES and does not tolerate pictures)

Riley was TERRIFIED of the train. Poor kid is also afraid of loud noises and things unknown. He thought the train was going to start moving or make loud sounds so he screamed his little head off and wanted to get back in the car. Poor thing!
Normally, Lilly would call him names or say rude things about him being a “big baby”…but she didn’t. She tried to reassure him that the train was really cool and it wasn’t scary. *WHO IS THIS KID??*

After that, we hung out at home, went to the park, watched movies and got ready for bed. The majority of this time, Lilly was sweet, cooperative and a joy to be around.

I am not expecting things to be this way all the time. It could have been a total fluke, or maybe the meds she started over a month ago are actually starting to kick in. Who knows. All I know is that my Lilly CAN be a sweet, empathetic and happy little girl and that gives me hope.

The PITA bike

Riley is telling Lilly to stay away from the scary train

My pretty girl

see...she is smiling!!

Me and Riley.  Notice how he wont take his eyes off the scary train?

Mr. Muscles at the park

Lilly pointed out this cloud to me.  She called it the "Swan Cloud"


  1. I know how important those moments are. They are so rare, it blows us away. I hope it is a sign of more great things to come!

    Way to go in the PITA bike woman! I probably would've chucked it after the second patch fail.

  2. Lilly has a good artistic eye. Wishing many more moments like these Who says Aspies don't have sympathy. They all have their moments.

  3. It really is such a big moment when you have a great weekend like this! I can tell you're taking these moments and holding on to them, and that's what we have to do. I have a question for you...and if it's too personal you can just not answer...but what meds are you trying? Our doctor has a few suggestions for my Aspies, but I was hoping to get some feedback from someone who has been trying meds. My e-mail is:

  4. Shelley, Your post made me feel happy inside for you ! I'm so glad that Lilly had a great weekend. She certainly is a beautiful lil girl. You are doing an awesome job as her mommy.

  5. don't know me at all. I stumbled here from a link on pintrest by Allyson Quirico, who I also don't know. :) Anyway, just wanted say I enjoyed reading a few of your posts. Your Lily is my Ellie (age 9). She hasn't been officially diagnosed yet, our eval is Dec. 1st, but like you, I've known for awhile. So it was nice to read about someone living with what we live with. We're new to all this, and I'm waiting for the official eval to be done before I sign up for any support groups and such. So, nice to "meet" you. :)

  6. I have had those moments...a glimpse into what K would be w/out Autism. It makes me happy and sad at the same time, but I cherish when they happen.


So...what did you think? I would love to know! Comments are appreciated!